May 30, 2006

Attack of the Killer Mosquitoes

So ya, the dry season is upon us and it's a lot cooler but there is an alarming number of mosquitoes around. It's gotten to a point where I will shoo them off my door before I walk into my apartment.

Sometimes, I will be talking to someone and absolutely cannot concentrate on what he/she is saying because a mozzie or two are buzzing around them and frolicking in their hair or wig.

The very worst thing about mozzies (after the fact that they carry deadly Malaria) is that they make this annoying buzzing sound. For some reason, at night they are particularly interested in the ear area and will come fly around the ear canal buzzing and struttin'. Taunting you with their buzz buzz sound while you flail your arms spastically trying to shoo them away.

Two nights ago, I had two, TWO mosquitoes in my room. They decided to organize a little dance around my head at 11:00PM. Annoyed, I first went to get my can of RAID. Unfortunately, it was empty. Try as I might, the little fizzle of spray did little to discourage them. Fortunately, I had Off Deep Woods insecticide spray. I ran to the medicine cabinet, reached for the spray, pinched my nose shut, closed my eyes and proceeded to spray my face vigorously.


Then I went back to sleep. In two seconds flat, the f*&ckers were at it again. I proceeded to spray myself three more times (at that point, I was choking on the fumes) but it just seemed to attract them more. What good is an insecticide which, when applied liberally three times in a row, does absolutely nothing?

My next trick was to make myself tremble every minute as so, so that the mosquitoes would fly away. First I'd start with my legs, then my arms, and finally my head. I probably looked like I was having a seizure but it was better than having a malaria-infected proboscis penetrate my skin.

Tired of all the effort, I took my pillow under my arm and went to sleep in the guest room. The next day, a friend bought me the largest can of insecticide he could find: Killit.

Cost: Priceless (actually it was more like $2).


Ekondas (latin name Paedirus) are little red and black striped insects which are found more commonly in Central Africa. This seems to be mating season and they come out of the ground in swarms. When they release their juice, the liquid will burn human flesh like a fire would.


I have heard an Ekonda landing on someone's legs two weeks ago and he casually brushed it away toward his...sensitive regions. Last week, he was unable to sit on a chair comfortably and would place one half of his left butt cheek on the chair. Though it made me laugh for a long time, other males winced in compassion.

The best part of Ekondas is that a grown man will shriek like a little girl if they so much as walk in their direction.



Kate said...

Hey 007 - Mozzie problems? Heard of a mosquito net?! I believe you know where to get one...

Kingston Girl said...

I hate mosquitoes - try falling asleep with ear plugs - I find that helps drown out the buzzzzzzzing

007 in Africa said...

Kate, you can be so bittingly sarcastic sometimes...No, where can I get one? (just joking, sheesh). I must add however that YOU do not have an ITN on top of your bed either.

Lol, plugs are a great idea. Do they prevent malaria as well?

verniciousknids said...

What a dangerous place you're living in! said...

ear area, you say ? very strange. I thought they would find more interesting your r-ear area...-

Jamespbond said...

... In Tana we live next to a swamp, which makes our mosquito situation interesting. We use a mosquito coil; the smoke tickles your nose but mosquitos hate the smell, and it lasts all night. And Kate points out, there are such things as mosquito nets. We also use sticks of "Off" which you apply liberally to all exposed areas of skin. Attention! It really stings if you get it in your eyes or mouth...

Still, there is nothing better than a high pitched buzz to remind you that you're living in the tropics! Just take a gin and tonic and listen to the beating of the drums.

Carl said...

007 doing the trembly skin anti-mosquito dance.

That image is funniest thing since Marty in the lava lamp diving and rising, rising and diving.

He wished we winced in sympathy; we don't have that much mercy in our souls. We laughed.

007 in Africa said...

We did laugh didn't we? I laughed the hardest though. said...

Anybody can tell a last word about Ddt (dicloro-difenil-tricloretano)?

Is it a dangerous poison for human beings? strudel

Anonymous said...

Mozzies sounds Australian (ah, the memories :).
Unfortunately they're here in D.C. too... But at least we don't have ekondas, those really look nasty :)

gwinn said...

Ok, so, I've thought that B and I were immune, or at least reasonably well protected: the apt balcony is screened in, there's just one window (in the bathroom) that has no screen and is only open for a few hours a day. Otherwise we are all hermetically sealed, all the time. I think: any mosquitoes that do manage to get in here will be gone by bedtime, right? Wrong. Last night was the worst one yet. (Warning: Gross out ahead.) Last night, neither B nor I slept well at all due to the continual buzz-bys. This morning, I wake up to see the sheet dappled with no less than 7-8 bloody mosquito corpses, either swatted or rolled over upon by B or me in the night. And, after I recovered from that shock, I saw three sated, bloated mosquitoes hanging out on the wall beside our bed. When I swatted them, they promptly went "splat" and oozed their innards, comprised primarily of precious micro-grams of our blood, all over the wall. The stains were so big, I had to get out the bleach to clean it all up.

Gross. Kate, we need a mosquito net - STAT!

(Although I'm afraid Tim will view the net as a giant kitten jungle gym/trapeze artist playground...)

Carl said...

Shoot Gwinn, that ain't gross. The post about worms and parasites, THAT was gross.

Besides, figure it this way. You and B got 11 kills, 8 of them without even trying.