June 25, 2007

CONTACT INFORMATION NEEDED

FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION.
COULD YOU PLEASE CONSIDER TO HELP ME TO RELOCATE THIS SUM OF FIVEMILLION,THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS(US$5.3m) TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR ESTABLISHING A MEDIUM SIZE INDUSTRY IN YOUR COUNTRY.

THE SAID 5.3 MILLION DOLLARS WAS DEPOSITED IN OUR BANK BY MR MORRIS LAKE AN AMERICA CITIZEN WHO DIED IN A PLANE CRASH IN 2000.WE HAVE TRIED TO CONTACT HIS IMMEDIATE FAMILY TO COME FORWARD FOR CLAIMS BUT COULD NOTSUCCEED.
WE DISCORVERED THAT THE LATE AMERICAN DIED ALONG SIDE WITH
HER HUSBAND AND CHILDREN WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HER NEXT OF KIN.

CLICKHERE(http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/).

I WILL GIVE YOU ALL VITAL INFORMATION CONCERNING THE AMERICAN AND THE 5.3MILLION DOLLARS IN OUR CUSTODY SO THAT YOU WILL CONTACT OUR BANK FOR THEM TO RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU.

YOU CAN COME HERE IN PERSON OR YOU CAN REQUEST THE BANK TO SHIP THE FUNDS TO YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY DIPLOMATICALY.

I AM A MANAGER IN THIS BANK,I WILL PLAY A ROLE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE 5.3 MILLION DOLLARS IS RELEASED TO YOU.

AS SOON AS I RECIEVE YOUR REPLY,I WILL GIVE YOU A DRAFT APPLICATION WHICH YOU WILL FORWARD TO OUR BANK.

REPLY AND LET ME KNOW YOUR
FULLNAME,AGE,ADDRESS,OCCUPATION,YOUR AND FAX NUMBERS IFAVALIABLE.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY.

MR MOUSA HAJI.


Hi Mousa,

Your kind email in my inbox this morning was quite a surprise. Perhaps it was the FULL CAPITALS used to convey a sense of urgency but instead made me feel like I was being screamed at, that bothered me? Or was it instead the confusion over the deceased person's gender: is the person a "Mr. Morris" or a female as implied in the "late American and her husband?"

So let me get this straight. Mr./Mrs. Morris died in 2000, depositing a lot of money in my bank account, and you are contacting me seven (7) years later? Bastard! I thank Mr./Mrs. Morris for the large sum of money bestowed upon me, but really he/she shouldn't have. No, I mean it, he/she really shouldn't have, seeing as I don't know him/her.

Also, I am a little confused with your request. On the one hand, you need my personal, intimate information to release this money from the bank to me, right? But you also want me to lend you the money to establish a medium-sized industry in my country (which happens to be the United States incidentally)? And what if I don't want to help you, Mousa, to build a medium-sized industry here? Do I still get the money? Do all bank managers say "hey, can I personally borrow that money you are depositing in my bank? I need to repaint my kitchen?". No! It's my money, you don't get any of it!

And please, if you are going to be writing such an important letter, do spell-check. The word "discovered" is spelled as such, not discorvered". Same goes for the word " diplomaticaly". Check it the dishionarie. That's not how you spell it.

Please excuse the ironic tone of this email, I'm just trying to make you better at your job.

Best Regards,
007 in Africa


Ah, scammers. A little lazy. A little amateurish. But thank God for them. OK, back to work, I need to send my name, social secuirty number, maiden name of my mother to Mousa before the day is over.

6 comments:

Carl said...

There was an article in one of the last issues of The Atlantic magazine about scamming the scammers.

Anonymous said...

If you send me your bank account information I promise to be nice to you! :)
-Ammo

strudel said...

Lament for being transferred from Unifil (Lebanon) to Kindu
MINGY STREET AT LUNCH TIME
     So here I am in DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo)
     No food, no water or electricity
     I left Unifil in Feb Two Zero Zero Two
      And now I am working for Kofi in town called Kindu
      I recall all the great food we could eat
     That would disappear so fast at lunch on Mingy Street
      Abu & Alì Youssef, and Khalil from Rendevous
      Serving humus, kafta and french fries too
       But now it's foo foo and plantin at lunch for me
       For this hungry Kiwi sitting under a mango tree
       No steak, no chicken, Arak or Al Mazza
      Just trees and jungle and Hukuna Matata   (Anon/Kindu) 

Steve in Wisconsin said...

There is at least one group that 'plays along' with the scammers -- occasionally getting them to send photographs of themselves (in humiliating poses) as an 'gesture of good faith'. These photos are then posted on the group's website:

http://419eater.com/html/trophy_room.htm

Beaver said...

You crack me up!

Miss you !

Shades of Blue said...

LOL