I wish I was a little bit taller

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller,
I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a batand a '64 Impala

Does anybody remember that song? Good times.

But I do wish I was a little bit taller. Let me explain the situation. I have a nice place with two roomates. We get along fabulously, more owing to the fact that none of us really overlap when we're in the house than anything else.

The girl is an architect and tends to come home after I have gone to bed. The guy works in connecting architects and builders and spends a lot of time at his girlfriend's house. A lot. So we basically don't see him much. Which is fine by me.

Anyways, our apartment has 9 foot ceilings which kind of makes you feel like you live in a mansion, until you look around and you realize that you are in fact not in mansion and your roommate have terrible taste in furniture and you are eating out of plastic bowls. But that is neither here nor there.

Our living room is perpetually dark because one of the flood lights is mysteriously out. So our living is not very inviting, more reminiscent of Linda Blair's room in the Exorcist than anything else. Needless to say, the living room does not get used very much.

One day, two new flood lights - in their carboard box - appear on the kitchen table. I am assuming that my male roomate felt guilty about not contributing much to the house, and decided to buy flood lights. But I really don't know as I haven't seen him in days.

Well I decided to bring a little light to our living room by changing the flood lights. Except that I kind of forgot that the ceiling was 9 foot tall, and I'm about oh....5'2'' on a good day. So imagine this: me on a small step ladder, desperately, desperately! trying to reach that light bulb.

No go.

So I take matters into my own hands, and add a phone book. I perch myself precariously on the whole contraption...and still no go. So then I raid my architect roommate's library and add Frank Lloyd Wright, Cubist and Cubism, Typologies, Above Washington, the Quilts of Gee's Bend and the phone book on top. I perch myself on THAT contraption...

And then there was light.

Now if I could only figure out how the flood lights showed up on our kitchen table.